For many workplaces conflict immediately invokes thoughts of shouting matches and negative relationships. While this extreme is not for any workplace, conflict should be embraced and not avoided. It's a natural part of relationships and human communication and shouldn't be viewed as inherently negative or unhealthy. What matters is how one manages conflict with others.
Here are 10 myths about workplace conflict that most people believe, but shouldn't:
Myth #1: Workplace conflict is a result of poor management
In fact, conflict is a natural part of communication. By gaining multiple perspectives, workgroups are better able to come up with optimal solutions. Groupthink and the strong desire to conform in a group can actually squelch great ideas.
Myth #2: Conflict is always on indicator of low concerns for the organization
An employee willing to give a dissenting opinion is usually someone committed to organizational goals. Simply nodding and going along with the boss's ideas is easy. Sticking your neck out in a respectful, honest way is hard work.
Myth #3: Conflict and anger are negative and destructive
Conflict and anger are negative when they are not managed skillfully. Constructive conflict happens when the individuals involved know that disagreement is not personal and is part of the process to reach the best end result. Hostile tones and personal attacks have no part in business conflict.
Myth #4: Conflict, when it surfaces, must be resolved immediately
Address conflict immediately. However, moving TOO quickly to end the conflict can diminish the positive outcome. Also, it is management's responsibility to have policies in place that prevent unnecessary conflict over trivial things. Good conflict relates to problem-solving rather than disagreement over procedure or processes.
Myth #5: Conflict, if left alone, will resolve itself
Often, problems are caused by what isn't said rather than what is said. Unaddressed conflict festers and hostility grows until the problem explodes suggests positivesharing.com.
Myth #6: Men don't deal with conflict; they just disagree
There are plenty of people, both men and women, who are bad at handling conflict. An aggressive approach may clear the air but permanently damage the relationship, according to huffingtonpost.com. When conflict avoidance keeps the peace temporarily, it lets things fester and the parties never reach a resolution.
Myth #7: Women should take conflict personally
Thoughtful disagreement can be a sign of respect, suggests Ben Casnocha in an article for womenofhr.com. Women and men should work to stay respectful when disagreeing...and in turn, receive comments in a non-personal way.
Myth #8: When you deal with conflict and don't resolve it your way, you should shut down
Conflict should not be personal. The goal of positive conflict is to find the best solution. Your contributions to the discussion, whether chosen or not, lead to the final solution. Addressing potential obstacles and optional approaches are all part of reaching consensus.
Myth #9: Losing a conflict means you've failed
People consistently believe that they are right and they are being reasonable. Seeing another person's view and being able to admit that it just might be a great solution (or at least as good as yours) demonstrates that you can be objective. Failing occurs when you stubbornly lose objectivity.
Myth #10: Choosing to confront conflict is an indicator of an aggressive nature
It takes tactful and skill communication to confront conflict. An aggressive approach makes the situation worse. It can make the other parties defensive and hostile.
Conflict is a normal, healthy part of communication. The way people address conflict determines if the results are positive or negative. Don't avoid it or move too quickly to resolve it. No matter what, don't take it personally. If you're a manager, work to create conflict management processes and procedures.
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