Unfortunately, we all know what it's like to have the perfect response pop into our head after an important situation or verbal exchange -- too late to be of any use. Yet there are those individuals who always seem to know exactly what to do--and say--in any conflict or crisis. Faced with an angry customer, an uncooperative co-worker or a tense negotiation, they don't stammer, stumble or get upset--they keep their cool and smoothly sail through the encounter, getting what they want without breaking a sweat. And, not surprisingly, the professional who demonstrates that kind of powerful poise and presence is also the person who rapidly rises through the ranks. Fortunately, great communicators are made, not born - it's a matter of having the right tools and knowledge.
Communication problems begin when you don't keep an open mind to what others have to say or you refuse to compromise. When you don't strive to achieve a collaborative solution - everybody loses.
Five tips for keeping your cools and getting to the root of the problem:
1. Remain objective: If you allow your emotions to take over, you can't be objective -- and you lose your effectiveness as a communicator.
2. Listen: Listen for feelings as well as for content
3. Ask questions: Paraphrase and ask questions to reinforce your understanding of what the other person is saying. This reinforces your attentiveness to the conversation.
4. Concentrate on common ground: Understanding the feelings the other person is experiencing. It helps reduce the differences.
5. Create common ground: When you create common ground, you're sending a strong message of support to the other person. When you purposely mirror (imitate) another person, you're telling that person, non-verbally, that you want to cooperate with them.
The bottom line in communication is that people need to feel they can trust you. Credibility is based on a combination of characteristics that you exhibit in your personal and professional life that build trust in your abilities.
Strategies to build and maintain credibility:
- Character: Live by a code of ethics and integrity - be honest and accountable for your actions
- Consistency: Be consistent in your dealings with others, control your emotions and approach disagreements productively, seeking win-win solutions
- Communications: Make building rapport with others a priority. Focus on listening to others and proactively communicate with others. Make sure your positive comments outweigh your negative comments.
- Caring: Treat workers as individuals (not as a collective - the X Department). Forge long-term relationships and take a genuine interest in others.
- Commitment: Have a clear vision of your goals and the goals of your company. Invest in others.
- Confidence building: Inspire others; make people feel appreciated and valued
Every business is in the communication business. Regardless of how technologically advanced the modern office becomes, the human voice remains the instrument for immediate personal contact. Communication style and manners can instantly affect the emotions, attitudes, and perceptions of people. The voices on the company's telephone lines, for example, belong to individuals, but what they say speaks for the business. That's why it's important to learn to communicate with poise, calm and credibility at all times.
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